I often tell the story of “crabs in a bucket,” for people who are experiencing less-than optimal support for making healthy (read: different or seemingly strange) decisions. For example, let’s say you have a mother who wants to have a natural birth, or a dad who doesn’t want traditional surgery for a herniated disc. Maybe it’s a co-worker who is eating really healthy on some new detox, or a parent who is seeking chiropractic care for their kids for their asthma, as traditional medicine has not been effective, or they simply don’t want to depend on medication for life.

In any of these scenarios, it is likely that someone will be ready to snicker or make fun of these individuals who are choosing the health road less traveled. Often, this lack of support may come from resentment or jealousy, as these people too want to make a change, but they feel more comfortable by not changing and either not supporting, mocking, or even belittling someone because of their new, healthier, choice.

We like to teach members of our practice that it is very good to be different than most people when you are talking about the decisions you make for your health.

If you are like most for your health choices – the choices of how you eat, think, move, or what providers you go to for your health – then chances are you will always have the same results that most people have. If you make strange or different natural choices, then chances are you will get different (usually better) results.

Many want what you are attempting, but are unwilling to make those changes, habits, and investments themselves, so they respond with some sort of negative or apathetic reaction toward you. Do not let this discourage you! Rather, just know you are on the road less traveled, and as long as you are enjoying the results of that, then keep going. You may have to have less contact with old relationships who are not supportive of you. That’s fine. It may feel awkward, but all growth happens outside your comfort zone.

I salute those of you who have encountered mommy wars outside your school or who have gotten flack on social media, from a co-worker, or mother-in-law for your different choices. It would be easier to not change, so keep it up!

Recently, my wife had an issue with a colleague. For those of you that don’t know, my wife works as a P.A. in the emergency room here in Chicago, and she also teaches natural birth as a certified Bradley Instructor.  Working in a hospital setting, but living a very holistic, natural lifestyle can create mommy wars with other nurses and doctors who like to do things the more conventional medical way.

Some other doctors and nurses my wife works with invited a group for dinner. Long story short, at dinner one of the docs, who has been great friends with my wife for years, made a comment about natural birth in a negative tone, and my wife (Monica) was forced to defend her position and, in the process, created some conflict with her friend. It got catty to say the least, but in the end Monica is more passionate about telling her truth than just smiling and listening or being bullied professionally. I am so proud of her for speaking her truth, as awkward as it can be, and I am so proud of all of you who have to constantly defend your position on the natural side of things as it pertains to the health our families.

There is a philosophical way the change takes place according to German philosopher Hegel:

1) New ideas are laughed at

2) New ideas then are ridiculed or vehemently opposed (this is the phase of natural healthcare today)

3)  Finally, the new ideas are accepted as the norm

We are close, people! More and more people are choosing to live their lives in a more natural way: from natural birth to fewer (or no) vaccines, to natural care for ear infections, to minimizing fever reducers, all the way to no prescription meds for headaches or anxiety or cholesterol level.

This movement is no longer a laughing matter, as thousands of Americans are choosing to take this road less traveled. You may be ridiculed for your choices, because it is still not the norm, but rest assured you are on the right path. Don’t fall because of awkward conversations with ignorant co-workers or your mother-in-law. In the end, they want what you have, and someday you will see them turn as well. You won’t even have to say  “I told you so.”  Just welcome them with a hug when the time is right.  You might even get an “I’m sorry” text, when they realize it… That’s what happened to my wife!

Be strong and carry on!