Summer is in full swing. 

And I am in that list of moms that fantasized eating an entire watermelon (without having to spit the seeds) while all my adorable children splash in the pool, all while i get to get a golden tan and chat to other moms about our favorite summer reads. 

The reality, we all know, can look very different.

Someone is always missing a shoe (that actually fell in the lake so it is gone forever), or someone needs to pee, or is thirty, or hungry. They are ALL hungry. ALL the time! 

So I get it. Im in the trenches right there with you mommas. And some days, its not easy peasy. 

Now…

What is up with all these mommas having to stock up their fridges with wine and beer to “survive” summer and “survive” parenthood?

You want to be funny. I get it. 

Motherhood and its messiness is full of jokes that are not jokes…enough to keep us all entertained!

Hey…some of the things you share on social media are truly funny and do make me laugh.

But I am very concerned about you momma, the wine drinking momma. And even more concerned about your children, and the children of all the moms that think you are really funny by dipping your wine in ice cream. 

Look. 

I am not a teetotaler (look it up! it counts as summer reading!)

I do, from time to time, enjoy a glass of wine with my husband at dinner, or drink a cold refreshing beer with friends and family.

But, unlike you, drinking is not part of my survival kit and in my opinion, shouldn’t be part of yours either.

You see, your children are being raised in a household in which mommy had a wipey in one hand and a glass of wine (or beer) in the other. Or, she was always heard saying…” oh boy, I need a drink”, or “ I need to stock up on wine”. Mommy thought this was hilarious and got together with other mommy friends who also found this very funny and blasted the internet with videos about how much to drink in order to survive the kids before they leave for college.

I will not be the first to say that your child will follow your example, and not your advice.

You will advice them; don’t do drugs, don’t drink alcohol (or if you do, don’t get wasted!). 

But they will. 

You know why? 

Because while raising children, purchasing alcohol in bulk was mom’s “surival” method…and she thought it was funny.

Look. There is a chance (a big one), he or she may encounter challenges while navigating the “adult” world. 

And there is a big chance she may want to cope with them with a glass of wine. That is how momma dealt with us after all!

My children are not perfect and g-d knows I too face many challenges while trying to be a good mom. 

But you know what is in my survival kit?

My husband and our late nights talking about our family and each of our kids.

Me having a conversation with each of my kids to sort through those difficult moments (or days).

Other mom friends. Yes, sometimes we go out and share a glass of wine. But many other times, we have “mom’s night out” and just share food family style. We talk, we cry, and I promise you, we laugh too.

I speak to my patients. You know, to that mexican mom that had 11 children and never had 1 ounce of alcohol to “deal with them”.

And sometimes I speak to random moms at the supermarket. To the ones that look like they have it all together and the ones that look like the just exited a washer/drier.

Some crazy funny things  have happened to me since I became a mom. 

Like the time I put a pair of underwear on my head by accident while in labor with my 1st child (its a true funny story for another blog post).

You would think I was hilarious if you heard the story from me first hand. 

You would think I was really, really funny.

You see, I am cool like that. I can be funny without drinking! 

But you mom, drinking motherhood to your hearts desire. 

You are scary.

Not funny.